Ok, first – a big disclaimer: Shuttle mediation IS important and it definitely has its place under a variety of circumstances. I am, by no means, suggesting that it is not critical in maintaining safety and respecting the wishes of all parties in a mediation. Certainly, in any cases involving protection orders, a history of domestic violence and intimidation, or when one or both parties are extremely emotional, shuttle mediation is the only option for trying to reach agreement. In most mediations, however, the best opportunity for parties coming together and successfully resolving their issues lies in a face-to-face encounter.
What is “Shuttle Mediation”?
Shuttle mediation is where the parties in a dispute sit in separate rooms (either physically or virtually in the case of telephone or video mediations) and the mediator ‘shuttles’ between them to try to reach an agreement. It is incumbent on the mediator to make sure that the key issues and proposals put forth by each party are clearly articulated and understood, and it is helpful for the mediator to re-state the issues communicated by the party they are sitting with so that those can be clearly communicated to the other party. Because of the time spent with each party separately and the need to physically move from one room to the other, shuttle mediation takes longer and is more costly than face-to-face mediations.
So Why am I not a fan of shuttle mediation?
In my experience, direct communication is the best way to resolve conflict. Under the right circumstances, it allows for the full range of emotions to be expressed - both verbally and somatically - and creates a present-moment environment where important data, as well as individual needs and wants, can be fully expressed. These opportunities can be lost when one party is left alone in a room, often brooding and dwelling on their resentment towards the other party. Also, that ‘in between time’ allows the alone party to re-think their positions and surface new issues not previously disclosed to the mediator or the other party.
It also puts additional pressure on the mediator on ‘getting the message right’ to assure that information is transmitted correctly back and forth. This takes up valuable brain space that could be better used in fostering communication between parties and exploring options towards an agreement.
Finally, the additional time required to conduct shuttle mediations can result in session burn-out for the parties as well as the mediator. When everyone is exhausted after hours of going back and forth (both on the issues as well as physically) there is a risk of making hasty decisions or ceding important points in order to ‘just get the darn thing over with!’
The Value of Direct Communication
It’s tough to ‘Sit in the Fire’. You may hate the person you’re mediating with. You may never want to see them again. You may wish they get hit by a bus as soon as they walk out of the room. All of these may be valid feelings. But know that there is light at the end of the tunnel – and it isn’t a train coming the other way! The gift of conflict resolution is that you may never have to see this person again or, if you do, you will have new tools and a roadmap of how to deal with your collective issues.
To foster direct communication in a contentious mediation, it is important that all parties trust the mediator to possess the skills and experience to contain that fire and create a safe atmosphere where issues and emotions can be expressed. Under such circumstances, opportunities arise for clarification on matters that may not have been previously known or communicated. New information can be presented that casts the issues – and perhaps the other party – in a different light. Most importantly, mediation allows for all parties to be heard. A good mediator creates a container that minimizes interruptions and encourages respectful listening.
From a practical standpoint, direct communication allows parties and the mediator to cut through superfluous issues and hone in on what is truly important. The mediator can help clarify the one or two BIG issues that must be addressed in order to achieve a successful agreement.
Shuttle Mediation or Face-to-Face: Which is Right for You?
In the end, of course, it’s up to you which type of mediation you use. Your mediator (or your attorney) can help you make that call. If you truly feel unsafe or believe that shuttle mediation would best serve your needs, then by all means, go with that approach.
However, if you’re willing to trust your mediator to ‘hold the container’ and create an atmosphere of safety and mutual respect, then face-to-face mediation may be the best and most efficient way to come to agreement on the issues that really matter to all parties.